


Inspiration Day: Guilt

by lanalucy



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Community: bsg_epics, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Promises, Regret, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 18:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanalucy/pseuds/lanalucy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kara or Lee or Zak or Helo<br/>Prompt: Sam, promises</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara or Lee or Zak or Helo  
> Prompt: Sam, promises

Lee had a fantasy.  Well, two.  The first one, obviously, was Kara, alive and whole, climbing out of her Viper, smug grin on her face, obnoxious and foul-mouthed and utterly overflowing with life.  But that fantasy was for his most private moments, moments when no one else was around and he could remember all the things he loved and hated about Kara without anyone squeezing his shoulder or patting his back or telling him it would get better with time or asking him how he was doing.

The fantasy he relived most, though, started on the temple planet.  Kara’s Raptor down, Sam threatening bodily harm if something happened to her, and his response: “If something happens to her, I’ll let you.”  That one, that’s what he kept thinking about.  He’d only imagined before how much it would hurt to lose Kara.  He’d lost her to Sam, but at least then she was still alive.  This time, he’d lost her to the gods, the ones she believed in so firmly.  He envisioned how he’d walk up to Sam, remind him of his promise, and hand him a sidearm.   _Please.  You made me a promise.  Help me keep mine.  I can’t deal with a world without her in it._  He could see the gleeful expression on Sam’s face, the satisfaction he’d get out of taking his grief out on Lee.  He could feel his own happiness, getting to wherever came after this, seeing Kara again, and Zak.  He lived now for the day he had the courage to make his fantasy real.


	2. Regret Is For Pussies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara or Lee or Zak or Helo  
> Prompt: Felix, bruises

Regret was useless.  You did stuff.  You owned up to it, or you didn’t.  Kara kept telling herself that, but still she wondered what if.  What if she’d listened to Lee and pulled up?  What if she hadn’t flown into that storm?  What if she hadn’t come back?  What if The Admiral hadn’t given her Demetrius?  What if he hadn’t assigned Gaeta to navigate?  What if Sam hadn’t shot him?  What if they’d been closer to the fleet when it happened?  Any one of those things might have changed everything.  Gaeta might still have both legs.  He might not have bruises so deep in his soul they’d never go away.  

She refused to feel guilty, but she still wondered, what if?


End file.
